With its motto “We Sit Securely on Our Assets,” the Outhouse National Bank strove to offer the finest service to its only depositor, my 10-year-old brother Doug. It was open 24/7 for deposits, almost all of which were imprest as a result of the superior judgment of the 15-year-old employer of said brother. It was [...]
Category Archives: Humor
Eggman — Part 2…Expanding the Business
March 18, 2008 – 9:10 pm
Three weeks after beginning my egg route, my weekly delivery had increased to nearly 150 dozen. It only took two after-schools to deliver the eggs, and I was netting over $30 each week, more than $4.25/hour. With the minimum wage at $1.55/hour, I, only 15, had found the chicken that laid the Golden Egg. Of [...]
I Really Was the Eggman — Part 1
March 17, 2008 – 12:22 am
“Hello. My name is Steve Cotler. Each week I go out to a ranch in the country and pick up fresh eggs and deliver them in this area at a price within a penny or two of store prices. Of course, these eggs are much fresher than store eggs because I pick them up and [...]
Happy Hour in Key West
March 16, 2008 – 6:08 am
One thousand words… We scheduled our trip down the Keys so as to avoid the human embarrassments that attend Spring Break. We sought spectacular sunsets, coral reefs, beachside conversation. We came for the waters. We were misled. We didn’t know that the Florida colleges let out their students a week early, so that they will [...]
Japanese Lessons-Part 3
March 10, 2008 – 8:18 am
At Tokyo’s Narita Airport, Mr. Mizutani shook my hand, bowed slightly and said, “Kotora-san, you have safe trip home.” “Why,” I asked Mr. Mizutani, “do you pronounce my name Kotora? My name isn’t COAT-ler. It’s COT-ler. Why don’t you call me Katora?” Mizutani took a deep breath and smiled broadly. “Kotora good name. Ko mean [...]
Japanese Lessons-Part 2
March 9, 2008 – 9:20 am
Near the end of my stay, to thank me for my efforts, six Japanese executives took me to dinner at a very upscale Tokyo restaurant. I had read guidebooks that highlighted cultural differences and how Americans abroad should behave, but nothing had prepared me for this.
Japanese Lessons-Part 1
March 8, 2008 – 5:45 am
In the early 70′s, as assistant to the president and product manager for a small, NYSE-listed business machines company, I traveled to Tokyo to teach our Japanese affiliate how to sell our new product, the world’s first high-speed, commercial fax machine. I was 27. My introductory talk was to 60 men, all of whom leaned [...]
How to Fix Intermittent Errors
March 6, 2008 – 6:13 am
Today my four-year-old Mac G4 laptop began acting its age. Groups of pixels jittered chaotically in horizontal regiments, sometimes covering the screen. Then, without anodyne application, the problem would disappear. And just as unpredictably, reappear. Further investigation revealed that these video measles increased or decreased as a function of manual pressure exerted on the case. [...]
On Balance
March 3, 2008 – 6:50 am
There is very little to recommend California’s Interstate 5 except straightness and speed. In a midsummer’s sunset somewhere south of Buttonwillow, I am rolling at 80, glazed by oncoming lights and nearly listening to bad luck and worse love on a Country FM out of Visalia. I lift, drink, and am under an inch in [...]
Mephitis Mephitis
March 1, 2008 – 7:08 am
mephitis mephitis: North American striped skunk The odor of skunk is very different up close than it is far away. A wee bit-o-skunk is sharp and somewhat lemony…stinky, definitely apprehendable, but not outrageously offensive. Full-skunk, however, clouding thickly outward from the furry hotness of a thoroughly swacked pet dog, is an altogether different experience. It [...]
