Steve Cotler

Steve Cotler

Category Archives: Humor

Protecting America from Immigrants

She makes a terific argumint. – The sign in the background reads: ——–Tejas no es una colonia mexicana. A tip of the hat to Robert Rummel-Hudson’s Fighting Monsters with Rubber Swords blog. –

Baseball: Recapturing Youth

As a kid, baseball was my sport. I was too short to be effective in basketball, no one played soccer in the 50’s, and although I was fast and could catch, my lack of bulk marginalized me in football. I played Little League, made the All-Star team, and loved the game. I played softball in […]

Mom’s Cafe — Salina, Utah

There are sage pronouncements that should never be ignored. In his 1956 short story collection, A Walk on the Wild Side, Nelson Algren wrote: “Never play cards with a man called Doc. Never eat at a place called Mom’s.” I have always avoided faux physicians at poker palaces, but once, after nearly two handfuls of […]

Eggman — Part 6…The Next Generation

After Doug and I returned home from that first afternoon of delivering eggs with Dad as our unexpected driver and co-deliveryman, we were completely unprepared for his next question: “How much bigger could we make this egg route if we really worked at it? Doug and I looked at each other. Dad had said “we.” […]

Eggman — Part 5…Mergers & Acquisitions

egg route fortunes When I left for college in 1961, I bequeathed the egg route, then at 160 dozen per week, to my younger brother Doug. He was almost 12. But when I came home for winter break, the route had declined to 100 dozen. It was too much for him to handle…not to mention […]

Eggman — Part 4…Dog and Egg Sandwich

After many months of deliveries, most neighbors became accustomed to seeing the Cotler brothers on bicycles, towing their Radio Flyer egg wagon. A few unimaginative churls thought it insanely humorous to yell, “Hey, Eggman! Gimme two dozen!” every time we rode by, but the unpredictable wagon-chasing dog was our bête noir. The worst crack-up (pun […]

Eggman — Part 3…Outhouse National Bank

With its motto “We Sit Securely on Our Assets,” the Outhouse National Bank strove to offer the finest service to its only depositor, my 10-year-old brother Doug. It was open 24/7 for deposits, almost all of which were imprest as a result of the superior judgment of the 15-year-old employer of said brother. It was […]

Eggman — Part 2…Expanding the Business

Three weeks after beginning my egg route, my weekly delivery had increased to nearly 150 dozen. It only took two after-schools to deliver the eggs, and I was netting over $30 each week, more than $4.25/hour. With the minimum wage at $1.55/hour, I, only 15, had found the chicken that laid the Golden Egg. Of […]

I Really Was the Eggman — Part 1

“Hello. My name is Steve Cotler. Each week I go out to a ranch in the country and pick up fresh eggs and deliver them in this area at a price within a penny or two of store prices. Of course, these eggs are much fresher than store eggs because I pick them up and […]

Happy Hour in Key West

One thousand words… We scheduled our trip down the Keys so as to avoid the human embarrassments that attend Spring Break. We sought spectacular sunsets, coral reefs, beachside conversation. We came for the waters. We were misled. We didn’t know that the Florida colleges let out their students a week early, so that they will […]