Symptoms: Normal start up, but then, as the blue screen and desktop icons appeared, so did the spinning beach ball of death…and a queasy stomach.

Interior sirens wailing, I rushed to my not-too-far-away Apple Store where, amid dozens of milling i-enthusiasts, the patient was taken into the back room, and I was told to go home and wait. Two hours later I got the news. “It’s a severe hard disk charley horse. Maybe even a full quadriceps tear,” the Apple Genius said with great sympathy. This made sense to me; I had noticed, over the past couple of months, a not-so-subtle limp and an intermittent tendency to be slower than normal on ground balls to the backhand.

Never this empty!

Since I was soon leaving for a weekend dalliance in Monterey, followed immediately by five days of Cheesie Mack book events in Tulsa, I raced back to the Apple Store and begged for a transplant…stat!

“Sorry,” Apple Guy explained, “We don’t have any hard drives in stock. Give us two days.”

I spun on my heel, clutched my critically ill friend to my anxious bosom, and dashed out of the mall, prepared to travel to any other Apple Store within unreasonable driving distance. But as I cranked up my hybrid, I remembered that no more than a half-mile away there was an authorized Apple reseller. I burst into his otherwise empty shop and in a few minutes had contracted for a new 300 GB kidney. Cost installed: $193.

“Come back in two hours,” Mac Chap said calmly.

Two hours later and surely not calm, I re-entered his shop and, armed with a very short set of how-to instructions, took my machine home. I set it up next to my back-up Time Machine…and here the story gets scary.

As everyone knows, whenever you change anything—be it an application upgrade, a new operating system, or heaven help you, a new computer—there will be blood.

Following Mac Chap’s instructions carefully, I pressed all the buttons leading to a Time Machine restoration of my backup…and all went as expected…until the window read: “Time remaining 19 hours 54 minutes.” I was leaving for Monterey in 18 hours. Hoping for an overnight miracle (sometimes these things inexplicably speed up), I dimmed the lights, instructed the computer not to sleep, and left it to heal itself. Almost 15 hours later, I trepidatiously looked at the Migration Assistant window: “Time remaining 7 hours 33 minutes.” My hoped-for speed-up had gone south.

Time Machine really works!

When it came time to pack up the car, I put my computer to sleep and disconnected power to the Time Machine. The Mac Chap had warned me that such an action would surely mean starting the restoration from the beginning (almost 20 more hours!), but what could I do?

I carried the various parts and cables to Monterey, set them up as before, engaged the Migration Assistant…and up popped, “Time remaining 31 minutes.”

Huh?

“Maybe the electricity is faster here in Monterey,” my wife suggested.

With little hope that this would lead to a happy ending, we left the gizmos to work amongst themselves, and went out to dinner at a sports bar to watch the Cardinals beat the Rangers in Game 7. (How can any baseball fan not love the David Freese story?)

Upon my return, rays of golden light were streaming out of my Macbook Pro, the sound of elven bells accompanied each disk seek within my Time Machine, and naught but goodness filled my small computer world.

Healed…and excepting my ye-of-little-faith anxiety, all was actually painless.

How did this happen?

I do not have the expertise to ask the proper questions…and I wouldn’t, even if I could.

Thank you, Time Machine and Mac Chap.

©2012 Steve Cotler's Irrepressibly True Tales. All Rights Reserved.

The Civil War was a mold for heroes and villains. Out of its tragedies and triumphs came courageous and outrageous men: Lincoln, Lee, Grant, Booth, Sherman, Davis. And unforgettable place-names: Gettysburg, Antietam, Appomattox.

Emotions and issues had been heating up for years before, but the actual shooting began in 1861 with the Confederate firing on Fort Sumter, the lone Union fortification guarding Charleston’s harbor in South Carolina. The fort was still unfinished and ungarrisoned in late December of the previous year when the South Carolina legislature voted to secede from the Union. Six days later, the Yankee troops at nearby Fort Moultrie, a tiny force of 75 men, moved quickly to the more easily defended Fort Sumter. South Carolina’s Governor Pickens immediately demanded that the Union garrison surrender the stronghold, but under direct orders from President Lincoln, the men within the walls refused.

No shot had yet been fired, but war seemed imminent. Over the next four months, the North made several attempts to resupply and reinforce the surrounded garrison at Fort Sumter, but all help was beaten back by the secessionist cannon batteries strategically mounted around Charleston’s harbor. Inside the fortress, the Union officers and men were resigned to the impending conflict and at 4:30 a.m., April 12, 1861, 150 years ago today, the shelling began.

The fort was battered by a continuous bombardment from four sides of its pentagonal shape. Union troops took cover, returning no fire until dawn, when the attacking positions could then be seen. Fort Sumter’s second-in-command was a 41-year-old captain from New York. He was no newcomer to battle. A graduate of West Point, he had served under Gen. Zachary Taylor in the Mexican War and for two years had fought against the Seminole Indians in Florida. Now, at the dawn of the War Between the States, he was the garrison’s ranking field officer…and so destiny chose him on that early spring morning to order the Union’s first return volley.

With the firing of that cannon, the great Civil War was engaged.

Abner Doubleday

Abner Doubleday, a man heroic in battle and so close to the eye of history’s storm, is today remembered (and most suggest incorrectly) as the inventor of baseball.

©2012 Steve Cotler's Irrepressibly True Tales. All Rights Reserved.

But no matter who matter who wins the game, the bookies win their money. The bookie’s odds always include a built-in percentage for the house. In 2009 I calculated the Las Vegas Final Four edge at 9.8%; in 2010, the edge was larger (14.3%). This year the edge, if you can actually get these published odds, is unbelievably small…only 2.2%!

First a repeat of my tutorial on how the house gets its take:

©2012 Steve Cotler's Irrepressibly True Tales. All Rights Reserved.

My weekly practice is to prepare a few hands that teach specific lessons and go over them pedagogically after each is played. For the rest of the Monday afternoon, the women deal and play rubber bridge, and I kibitz. This week they dealt and played the following:

Were I South, I suspect I would have bid the hand exactly she did. After West doubled, here’s what would’ve gone through my mind:

• One loser in clubs
• One loser in diamonds
• And since my partner made a free bid of 2 spades, she has a strong five- or a six-card suit, so probably just one loser in spades. In fact, if North’s spades set up, I may be able to toss my diamond loser. Four clubs looks solid.

West had never doubled before. With great excitement, she led her diamond queen…and I needn’t go through the carnage. South went down five…smiling!

Should she have escaped to four spades? It would’ve likely gone down only two. Would East/West have countered with a doable five hearts?

*     *     *     *     *

(I’m going to categorize this under Sports…because South was such a good one!)

©2012 Steve Cotler's Irrepressibly True Tales. All Rights Reserved.

What is Zorbing? Well, the website states: Imagine yourself suspended inside a clear inflatable plastic ball of about 3 meters in diameter. And when you’re securely in the place, the ball is rolled down 150-meter long slope. (No brakes, no steering,  just you and gravity).

I could not imagine myself thus, but my son could.

Only a short drive from Lake Bled (a picturesque glacial lake with a picturesque church-on-a-island one can row to), we found the hillside without difficulty. He entered the Zorb, strapped in, and took the ride.–

Ready to launch...

Rolling down...

Full speed!

I gulped and photographed. He emerged grinning and suggested I try it.

I didn’t.

Standing on solid ground and smiling

©2012 Steve Cotler's Irrepressibly True Tales. All Rights Reserved.

His contract with the Cavaliers ended in 2009. He is now a free agent and has been courted by every NBA front office with enough money available to make a serious offer. He is reported to have met with five teams other than the Cavaliers: the Chicago Bulls, Los Angeles Clippers, Miami Heat, New Jersey Nets, and New York Knicks.

James has scheduled a televised press conference tomorrow on ESPN (9 a.m. EDT)  to announce his decision. If you are an NBA fan (I’m not), this will be very big news. What makes this interesting to the non-NBA fan is James’ request to sell sponsorship for the special broadcast with proceeds going to the Boys and Girls Clubs of America. He appears to be a well-grounded and clear-thinking man.

I am fairly sure that LeBron James does not read my blog (if he does, he has never commented). But if he did, here’s what I would suggest to him.

Since there is a salary cap in the NBA, and you are surely going to press hard against that ceiling, why not sign with the team that can convince its wealthiest fans to up the ante outside the salary cap, by donating many(!) extra millions into a LeBron James Good Deeds Foundation (funding the Boys and Girls Clubs is a great start). There are scores of very well-heeled fans who would leap at the opportunity to contribute if you’d play for their home team.

LeBron, you have a gift. The fans love you. Ask them to follow your lead and do good deeds.

I have no idea whether such a subterfuge would violate the salary cap.

Oracle’s Larry Ellison loves sailing so much, he is reported to have invested $200 million in the most recent America’s Cup Race. I suspect LeBron James could muster fans to come close to that number.

©2012 Steve Cotler's Irrepressibly True Tales. All Rights Reserved.

©2012 Steve Cotler's Irrepressibly True Tales. All Rights Reserved.

Omar Samhan

If so, then the first two rounds of March Madness may promote more US-Islamic tolerance than all the State Department visits Hillary Clinton can schedule.

Two young men, Ali Farokhmanesh of University of Northern Iowa (Cedar Falls, IA) and Omar Samhan of St. Mary’s College (Moraga, CA), excited the nation’s sports fans over the past weekend with their confident, inspired play. Against the odds, #9-seeded Northern Iowa cancelled #1-seeded Kansas’s ticket to the dance, and #10-seeded St. Mary’s took #2-seeded Villanova out of the chase, with Farokhmanesh and Samhan playing leading roles.

Ali’s father’s first name is Mashallah. Omar’s dad comes from Egypt. Obama’s middle name is Hussein.

Are they Muslims?

Doesn’t matter. They shoot hoops, don’t they? And here in America, sports trumps politics.

©2012 Steve Cotler's Irrepressibly True Tales. All Rights Reserved.

Did you ever wonder how big that edge is?

Among the simplest edges to compute is Las Vegas roulette.  If your chips are on one of the numbers from 1 to 36, and you win, you get paid 35-1. That means that if you put $1 on each of those 36 numbers, when the ball drops onto one of those numbers, you’ll get your winning bet back plus $35; you’ll break even. Those are fair odds.  But the House, as I said, always has an edge. Las Vegas wheels include two other numbers that also pay 35-1: 0 and 00. So to be sure you’ll win, you’d have to place 38 one-dollar bets, thus giving the House a $2 profit on every $38 you bet (a 5.26% margin).

Coming up this week are the NCAA basketball Final Four games, typically a big gambling focus. Four teams (Connecticut, Michigan State, North Carolina, and Villanova) are vying for the national championship. The odds at the Las Vegas Hilton’s race and sports book (as reported yesterday by the Associated Press) are:

5-2  Connecticut
5-1  Michigan State
5-6  North Carolina
8-1  Villanova

What do these odds mean? How big is the Hilton’s edge?

Here’s the math. (Stay with me. No glazed eyes! It’s really easy,)

Assume you bet on all four teams to win the national championship. One of them will definitely triumph, so you’re sure of a payout. You bet $28.57 (I’ll explain where that strange number comes from below) on Connecticut. At 5-2 odds, if UConn wins, you receive $71.43 plus the return of your bet, totaling $100. On Michigan State, you bet $16.67. At 5-1, if the Spartans win, you’ll get $83.33…again totaling $100. On North Carolina, at 5-6, the odds-on favorite, your bet has to be $54.55 to get back $45.45. And on Villanova, the 8-1 long shot, you need bet only $11.11 to win $88.89. No matter who wins, you’ll end up with $100.

But what did it cost you?

You made four bets: $28.57, $16.67, $54.55, and $11.11, totaling $110.90, so for every $110.90 you bet, the House keeps $10.90, for a profit margin of 9.83%. It’s a nice business.

Like President Obama, I’m picking North Carolina. But instead of placing a bet, I’m sending 9.83% of what I would have wagered to charity.

*     *     *     *     *

Here’s how the $28.57 bet on UConn is computed:

Let B be your bet and L be the line (the odds). If your team wins, you’re going to get your bet returned PLUS your winnings, so B + L * B = $100. The UConn odds are 5-2.

B + 5/2 * B = $100
7/2 * B = $100
B = $100 / 3.5
B = $28.57

Similarly for the other three teams.

©2012 Steve Cotler's Irrepressibly True Tales. All Rights Reserved.

In 1964, Cassius Clay, then only 22, brashly boasted that he would upset 7-1 favorite Sonny Liston for the world heavyweight championship. “I am the greatest!” he shouted. In retrospect, Clay clearly was the greatest. Why did his outbursts upset so many white sportscasters and fans?

One of TO's many celebrations

Many similar incidents later, in the Dallas Cowboys 2008 opening game, Owens was hit with a 15-yard penalty for dropping into a sprinter’s starting position and emulating Olympics gold medalist Usain Bolt after catching a second quarter touchdown pass. The NFL has a rule against excessive celebration. Why?

Last month, Denver Broncos wide receiver Brandon Marshall caught what turned out to be the winning touchdown in a 34-30 victory over the Cleveland Browns. He reached into his pants to pull out a half-black, half-white glove, intending to put it on and raise his fist like sprinters Tommie Smith and John Carlos did at the 1968 Olympics. Marshall explained his intentions in the post-game interview below (starting at 0:24).

But when teammate Brandon Stokley ran over and convinced Marshall that the penalty that would almost certainly ensue might cost Denver the game, the glove disappeared.

Brandon Stokley pleads with Brandon Marshall (15): No glove, please!

Marshall wanted to celebrate unity and the racial progress of America’s multicultural society. His gesture would have transcended sport and national boundaries. It was only two days after the historic U.S. presidential election, so from as far away as Chennai, India, blogger/journalist Siddhartha Mishra of Express Network Private Limited commented, ”Marshall was a historic moment away from becoming the first athlete to publicly honour US president-elect Barack Obama” Why did the rule book prohibit a statement that would have done more for this country than any football victory?

Since the NFL and the NBA got serious about this in 1984, there have been scores of such behaviors and resultant penalties. Why should we care?

In a 2003 paper (International Review for the Sociology of Sport) entitled “Race and Penalized Sports Behaviors,” UC Berkeley professor Herbert D. Simons asserts that because black athletes are overwhelmingly responsible for such prohibited behaviors, the sanctions levied are racially motivated.

There are a number of verbal and non-verbal behaviors exhibited by football and basketball players, such as trash talking, taunting, celebrating, dancing, etc., that are penalized and heavily criticized by the athletic officials, coaches, the media and fans. The amount of attention these behaviors receive seems out of proportion to their importance, since they provide little if any competitive advantage and seem to be only peripherally related to the actual competition….These behaviors are a reflection of urban African American cultural norms, which conflict with white mainstream norms. The sanctions represent white male mainstream society’s response to the threat to white masculinity represented by black athletic superiority and by African American athletes’ assertion of the right to define the meaning of their own behavior. In this contested terrain, African Americans are resisting white male hegemony and asserting their manhood and cultural identity.

Simons contends that some sportsmanship values are culturally relative:

[T]hey conflict with the cultural patterns of many [African American] athletes participating in basketball and football for whom appearing to be humble, showing respect for one’s opponents, and not calling attention to oneself is less valued than in mainstream white male society….In a multicultural society like the US, groups differ in their histories and cultural values….[The] expressive features of African American culture are…coping mechanisms made necessary because African Americans have historically been denied the opportunity to achieve respect and self-esteem through the traditional means of education and jobs. [F]or African American males, sports [has] been a major vehicle for asserting manhood and gaining the respect and self-esteem that flows from it….[C]elebrating, dancing, high stepping, spiking, dunking, [and] taking off one’s helmet are reflections of the expressiveness and performance aspect of African American culture. These behaviors are a performance…and are not necessarily directed at their opponents. They are designed to encourage spectators and teammates to validate one’s performance by responding to it. The desire for audience involvement may be related to the call and response features of African American churches.

Is the prohibition of these behaviors, as Simons contends, racially motivated? The culture of white owners and officials is:

“so fundamental, pervasive, ingrained, invisible, and normal that [they are] not even aware of its existence…..[T]he invisibility of one’s own culture makes it difficult to recognize behavior that conflicts with one’s own cultural expectations as an expression of a different cultural pattern. Behaviors that differ are seen as abnormal and deviant….When African Americans behave according to the standards of their culture, they make whites feel uncomfortable….(Black athletes] pose a threat to white male control of sports….In response to this threat, they have made normal African American behavioral expression abnormal and deviant by penalizing these behaviors.

One has only to look at sports in which African American do not participate in large numbers to see the hypocrisy. Score a goal in the NHL or world soccer and the athletes go wild. No penalties.

A young, black, athletic man will soon be our president. He has already offered an opinion—unrequested and probably unappreciated by the NCAA—about how college football should decide the national champion. His presence alone will engender cultural shifts in many areas. Sports is surely one of the less important spheres, but its ubiquity in our culture—almost every newspaper gives more column inches to sports than to national news—means that its lessons have much influence. And these lessons remain long after the knees give out.

Loosen up. Let the players dance.

©2012 Steve Cotler's Irrepressibly True Tales. All Rights Reserved.