Steve Cotler

Steve Cotler

Bear Market Rap

In December 1990, when I was working as an investment banker in San Francisco, I wrote and recorded a rap song. Here’s the beginning of it:

Dow Jones Industrial Average
Dow Jones Industrial Average

The market churns; the market bubbles.
Mideast explodes, and I got troubles.
Hussein? Who’s crazy? If Bush gets sore,
Brokers be marchin’ off to war.
Iran around, Iraq my brain,
Kuwait for a while, but I Saudi gain.
So maybe I get some oil and gold,
But my courage drops, and my luck turns cold.

Recession’s coming; times’ll get rough.
Will you be ready, steady, and tough?
Will you trade the OEXs as one of your schemes?
It really never works, ‘cept in your dreams.
So short those flyers; sell those calls.
You gotta have courage when the market falls.
‘Cause if you think trees grow to the sky,
Then bend way over and kiss your ass goodbye!

So the Bear is here; the Bear is back.
I feel his breath comin’ up my back.
The Bear is here. I hear him growl.
You’d best be in cash when he’s on the prowl.

(…followed by 12 more verses)

Sigh. Over 17 years later…nothing has changed.

One Comment

  1. Juju says:

    Hi Steve,

    I clicked on “politics” to get your insight on the current primary scene, as I am finally tired of the pundits on cable TV. I loved your prescient rap song, and will await your ponderings on Barack, Hillary, et al.

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