Category: Humor

A Teenager Selling Shoes

Marty Stein and Benny Silverstein operated shoe stores in Oxnard, my California childhood’s small town. Marty’s store (Kirby’s Shoes) was on A Street’s east side, right next to my father’s men’s & boys’ clothing store. Benny’s store (GallenKamp’s Shoes) was directly across the street. Marty carried a marginally higher-priced line, but in a town that lived off three military bases and farming, they competed for the same clientele. The men were not friends, but they ate lunch together at least once a week, at which they spoke only lies.

Both Benny and Marty were Continue reading “A Teenager Selling Shoes”

No Sunglasses, No Service

I know a woman (she shall remain nameless) who loses her sunglasses repeatedly. A retired attorney, she is neither careless nor insouciant. It just happens. And each time her cheaters go AWOL, she reacts with dismay and a bit of self-directed anger. Then, after a mourning period shortened imperatively by the next glary day, her chagrin wanes, and she buys a new pair.

Over the years, her disappearing shades routine, unpredictable, yet certain as California earthquakes, Continue reading “No Sunglasses, No Service”

Sheiks on a Plane

Ali Balak QatlarSatif Luwi Qatlar_2On a balmy Saturday morning in late-1978, two 30-something brothers boarded a Pacific Southwest Airlines flight in Los Angeles. As they walked up the outdoor stairway into the PSA jet, the two men looked suspiciously like Arab terrorists during a time when Arab terrorism was non-existent. They were traveling under their real names, but to almost any observer they could have been Ali Balak Qatlar and Satif Luwi Qatlar. The former looked deranged, the latter somewhat simple.

Their destination was Oakland, where they would be met by their widowed 61-year old mother. She had decided Continue reading “Sheiks on a Plane”

Kiss Me, I’m Irie!–St. Patrick’s Day on St. Croix

Irie (EYE-ree)—to be at total peace with your current state of being. The way you feel when you have no worries. (Jamaican)

The small-town paraders and bystanders were more than irie long before the procession began just before noon.  This is a big deal in Christiansted. Everyone knows this isn’t the right day, but we’re on an island, so what the hey!

Continue reading “Kiss Me, I’m Irie!–St. Patrick’s Day on St. Croix”