Irrepressibly True Tales

One man's squint at the metaphorical signposts, songbirds, soapboxes, street musicians, and hot dog stands of life. Criticism, lyricism, polemics, performance, and making change…all with mustard.

Eggman — Part 6…The Next Generation

one dozen eggsAfter Doug and I returned home from that first afternoon of delivering eggs with Dad as our unexpected driver and co-deliveryman, we were completely unprepared for his next question: “How much bigger could we make this egg route if we really worked at it?

Doug and I looked at each other. Dad had said “we.”

He had a plan. Continue reading “Eggman — Part 6…The Next Generation”

P(achy)casso? — Elephant Painting an Elephant

An excited correspondent sent me a link to this video of an elephant painting a picture of an elephant.

[youtube _LHoyB81LnE Elephant painting an elephant]

It is an engaging video, and comments on other websites from eyewitnesses (most often reporting their visits to Thailand) to such “artwork creation” give good evidence that this is not a fraud. The elephant is actually holding the brush to the paper and moving it with precision. Continue reading “P(achy)casso? — Elephant Painting an Elephant”

NCAA Final Four Math

NCAA 2008 Final FourBy missing their last shot, tenth-seeded Davidson lost to top-seeded Kansas 59-57…and for the first time in NCAA tournament history, all four #1 seeds made it to the Final Four.

What are the odds of that happening?

My assumptions are arbitrary—I admit that—but here’s the math.

Continue reading “NCAA Final Four Math”

Will There Be Water in Lake Chad?

Lake Chad 1973-1997Much of the talk about unsettled times ahead looks to oil as a cause: economies will undergo transition and regional conflicts will increase.

Lake Chad mapThink also about water.

Lake Chad is an exemplar. At one time the world’s sixth largest lake, included in four African countries (Cameroon, Chad, Niger and Nigeria), it has, in less than a half-century, shrunk to one-tenth its former size. Continue reading “Will There Be Water in Lake Chad?”

“Going Out of Business” Haggadah

haggadahIn the spring of 1961, my parents lost their clothing store. It was not a tragedy. It was the final breath of a pain-wracked patient, the welcome demise of Cotlers’ Men’s & Boys’ Wear. After 15 years of stress and challenge, the crushing uncertainty—will today’s receipts cover the checks written yesterday?—that often caused my father to arise, throw up, and then go to work, was gone at last. Now he had abruptly switched from merchant to used car salesman. He didn’t like the work, but his complexion had gone from gray to pink.

In June, he would finally graduate from high school 30 years after dropping out during the Depression. I had tutored him in chemistry. It was my thrill, and he was an avid student. Continue reading ““Going Out of Business” Haggadah”

Embarrassingly Partisan Baseball

clemensSteroids in Major League Baseball should not be a political issue.  But it is.

Who’s the liar? Brian McNamee or Roger Clemens? I don’t know…and actually, I don’t much care. Damn them all. Professional baseball is full of over-amped egos and self-defined Masters of the Universe.

Yesterday, however, continuing the outrageously partisan approach to what is, by its very nature, a non-partisan issue [cf. my earlier post on this], Republicans on the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform issued a 109-page report [downloadable here] that supports Clemens over McNamee. Continue reading “Embarrassingly Partisan Baseball”