Irrepressibly True Tales

One man's squint at the metaphorical signposts, songbirds, soapboxes, street musicians, and hot dog stands of life. Criticism, lyricism, polemics, performance, and making change…all with mustard.

My Last Blizzard

Times Sq SnowWinter, 1982-83, neck wrapped, leaning on the soft smells above the noonish counter in the cold gap between two multi-stories near Times Square, I ate sidewalk pizza as the flakes began to fall. They were whispers in the soft wind, but the weathermen waxed “much more, much more.”

By 3 p.m., the City was anticipating confusion and delay. An hour later, in a now-thick, straight-down snow drop, I fled employment and rib-rubbed Manhattan’s Friday Port Authority commuters, using a substitute stairway to escape the escalator-stalled crowd. By 5, outside was dense white, and I was westbound in my bus seat. Four hours later, my ostensible 22-minute passage finally ceased its snow-slog and stopped in the middle of a ten-mile thread of Route 3’s cold pack. Continue reading “My Last Blizzard”

Heave Ho and Up She Rises!

seagullIt was the wrong season for whales. It was the wrong month for sea lions. The gulls only tolerated me and to be true, I enjoyed them only within my limited fascination for the inexplicable red spot on their yellow beaks. For the first 20 minutes, a lone brown pelican held my attention as it repeatedly wheeled over and anchovied point-first into a school unaware of summer vacation.

I was cabin cruising Pacifically with a friend. A pleasant sun, some wind, and water that peaked and curled like Seasicknessicing on a cakemaker’s masterpiece. Then the first symptoms appeared. Laughing into my Dos Equis, I guessed out loud that too much clean air could make a man dizzy, his knees a bit watery. I sat down and stared at the horizon, limply watching headache and nausea bobbing grimly across the deep, smelling my fear. Irrevocably, I released my beer and flopped down onto a deck cushion accustomed to human instability. I looked to my friend for help. He smiled wanly and ruddered right, turning the sun out of my face. He has a kind heart, but there was nothing else for him to do. I was seasick. Continue reading “Heave Ho and Up She Rises!”

Baseball: Recapturing Youth

baseballAs a kid, baseball was my sport. I was too short to be effective in basketball, no one played soccer in the 50’s, and although I was fast and could catch, my lack of bulk marginalized me in football. I played Little League, made the All-Star team, and loved the game. I played softball in organized leagues well into my 40’s.

I hadn’t played hardball, however, for over three decades when, several years ago, on a bright spring day, my younger brother Doug suggested we pull out some equipment and head for a nearby diamond. My head full of memories of past glories, we, accompanied by Doug’s friend Scott, found the field empty and inviting. I soon found out, however, that the invitation was for a surprise party. Continue reading “Baseball: Recapturing Youth”

Birthday

“Wanderers at the Beach”  Odd NerdrumToday is my birthday.

Also born on this day in 1944 was Odd Nerdrum, a prominent Norwegian painter.

Our names were switched at birth.

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“Wanderers at the Beach” 2001

Oregon 218 — 44 Million Years Ago

rock spires — ClarnoDrive north in the belly of Oregon through long, rolling rise-and-falls, seer-suckered by sagebrush, past scruff and cattle, persevering on US 97 until you find a road at Madras that leads eastward toward a tiny brown square on your AAA map labeled Clarno Unit of the John Day Fossil Beds National Monument. After the intermittent, insignificant traffic on US 97, you’ll find cars on Oregon’s Route 218 numbering fewer than the miles you drive. Continue reading “Oregon 218 — 44 Million Years Ago”

Mom’s Cafe — Salina, Utah

Mom’s Cafe — Salina, UtahThere are sage pronouncements that should never be ignored.

In his 1956 short story collection, A Walk on the Wild Side, Nelson Algren wrote: “Never play cards with a man called Doc. Never eat at a place called Mom’s.” I have always avoided faux physicians at poker palaces, but once, after nearly two handfuls of driving hours, I was seduced into stopping for gas and food at Mom’s Cafe in Salina, UT. Here is my review. Continue reading “Mom’s Cafe — Salina, Utah”